Plus One’s - What’s Expected?

Etiquette on Plus Ones in the UK: For Family and Friends

Deciding who gets a plus one at your wedding can be a tricky part of the planning process. In the UK, there are no hard and fast rules, but understanding general etiquette can help you navigate this sensitive area while keeping your guest list manageable and your budget on track.

Here’s a breakdown of plus-one etiquette for both family and friends to guide you.

1. General Etiquette for Plus Ones

• Established Couples: The general rule of thumb is to invite both members of a couple if they are married, engaged, or in a long-term relationship. Even if you aren’t personally close to the partner, inviting them is good etiquette. This applies to both family and friends.

• Serious Relationships: For couples who are cohabiting or have been in a committed relationship for a significant amount of time (often around 6 months to a year), it’s polite to extend the invitation to both people. In the UK, guests in serious relationships may expect to bring their partner, so consider this when making your guest list.

• Casual Dating or New Relationships: If a friend or family member is in a very new relationship, you’re not obliged to invite their partner, particularly if you’ve never met them. In the UK, it’s perfectly acceptable to limit plus-ones to those in serious or long-term relationships.
  You could also consider extending the invitation to a guest’s new partner for the evening only, but this may be an awkward conversation to have, so avoiding extending a plus one entirely might be easier.

• Single Guests: Not all single guests require a plus one, especially if they will know other people at the wedding. However, if someone will be attending alone and won’t know many other guests, it can be a kind gesture to give them the option of bringing a plus one. This can be done at your discretion.

2. Plus Ones for Family

When it comes to family, it’s important to be mindful of relationships and potential sensitivities. Here are some guidelines to help you decide:

• Immediate Family: For immediate family members like siblings or close cousins, it’s typical to allow them to bring a plus one, especially if they are in a relationship, regardless of how serious. If they are single, it can still be a thoughtful gesture to offer them a plus one, but this is not always necessary.
  Immediate family who are younger than 18 do not need a plus one, even if they are in a “serious” relationship. If you have a much younger sibling or cousin who might not have anyone else their age to hang out with, you can consider allowing them to bring a well-behaved friend if you are feeling particularly generous.

• Extended Family: For extended family members (aunts, uncles, more distant cousins), you may want to be more selective. If they are married or in a long-term relationship, it’s standard to invite their spouse or partner. For single relatives, it’s up to you to decide if you want to offer a plus one based on your guest list size and relationship with them.

• Parents and Grandparents: Always invite both parents and their partners, regardless of their marital status. If your grandparents are widowed or single, it’s considerate to offer them a plus one as they may appreciate the companionship.

3. Plus Ones for Friends

The rules for friends can be slightly different depending on your relationship with them and the size of your guest list. Here’s how to approach it:

• Close Friends in Relationships: For your close friends, you’ll want to invite their significant other, especially if you’ve spent time with them as a couple. Even if the partner isn’t well-known to you, offering a plus one is expected if the relationship is long-term or serious.

• Single Friends: If your friend is single and knows other guests at the wedding, it’s not necessary to offer a plus one. However, for friends who may not know many people at your wedding, providing them with the option of bringing someone can make them feel more comfortable.

• Group of Friends: If you have a group of friends attending, and they are mostly single, it’s common to not extend plus ones to everyone, especially if they will have plenty of company within the group.

• Casual Acquaintances: If you are inviting work colleagues or acquaintances that aren’t particularly close to you, there is no need to offer a plus one unless they are married or in a committed relationship, and even then you don’t need to give everyone a plus one. This helps keep your guest list and costs under control.

4. Budget and Venue Considerations

Your guest list and plus one decisions should also take into account practical considerations like budget and venue capacity. If your venue is small or you’re working with a tight budget, it’s perfectly acceptable to limit plus ones, particularly for friends and distant relatives. In the UK, guests generally understand that weddings are expensive and space is limited, so don’t feel pressured to extend plus ones across the board.

5. Communicating Plus-One Invitations

How you communicate plus ones on your wedding invitation is key to avoiding confusion:

• Address Invitations Clearly: If you are offering a guest a plus one, try to find out the guests name beforehand if you are unsure and address the invitation to “[Guest 1 Name] and [Guest 2 Name].” If you are offering a guest to a single friend so that they will have some company, you can address the invitation to “[Guest Name] and Guest”. If not, simply address it to the individual only. This helps avoid any assumptions that they can bring someone along.

• RSVP Cards: Make it clear on your RSVP cards or wedding website whether a plus one is included. A good way of doing this is to be explicit by saying something like “We have reserved __ seats in your honour” to specify exactly how many people are invited.

• Preempt Questions: Some guests may ask if they can bring a plus one, especially if they aren’t sure of the etiquette. In this case, politely explain that your venue and budget only allow for a certain number of guests, and you’re keeping the celebration intimate.

Final Thoughts

Navigating plus-one etiquette in the UK requires balancing traditional expectations with practical considerations. For close family and friends in serious relationships, offering a plus one is polite and expected. For single guests and acquaintances, consider your budget, venue, and the social dynamics of the day. By being clear in your invitations and thoughtful in your decisions, you’ll ensure a stress-free guest list and an enjoyable wedding day for all.